Why Finding The One Can Be So Stressful
Many people don’t want to be alone or they want to be happy so they want to be in a relationship. Reasons can either emotional, social, psychological, or sometimes, just plain selfishness. Meanwhile, some would like to find rich partners because it is for financial security. But finding the one for you, the right person who can be your suitable partner, can sometimes be a stressful thing–especially if you do it online.
Misconceptions About Finding the One
There are so many misconceptions about finding the one. It seems that people, men and women alike, have to stumble on so many wrong ones before finally landing on the perfect partner.
Moreover, things have become more complicated lately because we now have a thing called online dating. People can easily gloss over their qualifications online.
Myth 1: There is a PERFECT PARTNER.
The first misconception is perhaps the notion that there is a perfect partner. If there is one hard fact of life, that is, nobody is perfect. Since we all have different backgrounds and personalities, we naturally bring our good side as well as flaws into the relationship.
We can only be the best versions of ourselves but we can never be perfect. The most that we can do is to keep on working on improving ourselves.
Myth 2: ROMANCE is the foundation of a relationship.
The second common misconception is that intimacy and romance are key to a lasting relationship, like in movies and romance novels.
Fact is, romance is just like the introduction of any meeting. It is the honeymoon stage of any relationship. Pheromones are part of that attraction. Whether you keep the romance alive in your relationship even after many years is entirely up to both of you. However, it is not and should not be the basis for looking for a long-term partner or spouse.
Romance or physical compatibility is just fleeting and just a small part of the long haul. So choose wisely and not just be led by physical desires.
Myth 3: My PARTNER will never change.
The third misconception is that if you find the one, he or she will be the same one for the rest of your life.
As we grow old, have different experiences, meet new people, and the like, we learn new things. We also acquire different behaviors. Our physical bodies change and we won’t look as young or move as nimble as before. There will be health considerations and lifestyle diseases.
Face Slaps in a Relationship
Finding the one can be both easy or hard for you. Many people, especially women, often stress it out as the years go by. Growing old alone seems to be a dreaded thing.
You have the choice to stress about it or to just go with the flow. However, you do need to dispel misconceptions about ideal partners and relationships because these will just mislead you. Only then will you find that finding the one may not be so stressful after all.
A suitable life partner for you may just already be under your nose. It could be an old friend, a co-worker, a neighbor, or a common friend. But if you have already a setup idea of what he or she is going to be like, then you are putting yourself up for disappointment.
The second and third misconceptions are both putting the other person on such a high pedestal. It is like you have characterized that person to live like that for the rest of your lives.
But whether we like it or not, people will change. It can be for better or for worse. If we deal with these changes on a positive note, you will both grow old graciously. You can choose to be critical or be the helpmate in your relationship. Chances are, you will remain the most suitable partner for each other for life.