An Open Letter to All the Boys I’ve Loved Before
A young lady has gone through three different relationships and cherished all of them. She has articulated her learnings from these relationships, fully aware that these have made her into the woman that she is today. That’s self love.
Yce’s Lessons in an Epistle
Three different people, three different relationships, and three different life lessons.
He taught me pain.
We were together for 5 years. He was my first boyfriend. He was the first guy I brought home to meet my family. We shared many “firsts” with each other. He was also the first one to give me my first heartache.
He taught me love.
Few months after the first breakup, I jumped into a new relationship with another guy. He made me believe in forever. He taught me everything about love and relationships.
But he also taught me one painful lesson, if you really love the person, sometimes it’s best to let them go. We both believed that what we had was far too good to ever continue.
He taught me patience.
I rushed to be in a relationship again. Our past, insecurities, and ego always got in the way. I tried to secure him as much as I could but you can only do so much until you hit your breaking point. It was a good run even though the relationship didn’t last long.
Past Relationships and Loving Again
I have always been in a relationship ever since I was 16. When one relationship ends, I always rush to be with someone new because of fear of being alone.
But with every heartache, I am left with a different level of strength that I carry with me. All these experiences made me realize one thing–nobody can make anyone happy unless we become happy with ourselves first. We have to learn to live alone because we can’t be a good partner unless we secure ourselves.
But until then, until I meet the person who’s on the same path as I am, I have to work on becoming the best version of myself. I’ll make the most of my time to grow, evolve, and be inspired in knowing what I really wanted in life.
So when love finds me again, I’ll be strong and mature enough to give it another chance.
About the Author
Yce Cabalbag is now 27 years old. She is a graduate of BS Industrial Engineering from the University of Santo Tomas. She is currently working as a Business Analyst in a creative process outsourcing company.
Off work, she is a “seatizen”. She loves to go surfing on weekends, traveling to where the waves are, to learn to skate, and play the ukelele.
Note: All photos were provided by Yce Cabalbag for use in this blog post.
Thank you for letting us know your experiences. Great to know all the learning you got from them. Continue to love.
Sa PagiBig talaga may ibat ibang phase ng feelings.Pede masaya, masakit at malungkot..Pero lahat may lessons in real life..Thanks for this experience.I must say na madami pa pala akong di alam sa pagibig
I am glad you’re seeing your past relationships as LEARNING EXPERIENCES! That’s exactly what they’re there for!! I just had this convo with one of my friends yesterday actually!
I love these so much! Each one is just so unique.
every relationship is always a lesson learned! and hope that it helps us grow and not commit the same mistake!
Every relationship po talaga may lesson. Like me po dumaan ako sa napakaraming heartache dahil sa pamilya ko kaya hinanap ko po ang pagmamahal sa iba. Kaso napaka naive ko po kase akala ko yun talaga ang magbibigay sa akin ng totoong pagmamahal pero di pala kaya humantong po ako sa pagiging single mommy sa eldest at nakipag hiwalay po sa kinasama ko na nagkaroon po kame ng isang anak rin. Pero sa pangatlo ko po ngaun eh masasabi kong ibinigay na ni Lord yung taong magmamahal talaga sa akin ng totoo.
Awwww Mommy Lyka!!!! I cannot imagine what you went through with your past heartaches! But I’m happy to know that you have found the right one for you na. Be happy. God bless! 🙂
Every relationship until you know who you are and what you want will end in heart break. It’s a painful lesson.
One always learn through mistakes. This in turn helps to improve in the next.
Past relationships always teach some sort of lesson. I look back on the boys I loved before and can easily pick out lessons from each of them.
I’m glad that you were able to turn something that feels like a great loss and a negative into a positive. Those relationships were just practice for the real thing.
Practice is a good word. haha
So true. We learn from our past mistakes and hopefully make better decisions in the future.
It’s so true that you learn something from every relationship. Thank you for sharing your story with us. It’s so important to learn to love yourself before you go looking for love. Know your own self worth and value who you are!
Learning to be happy with yourself and love yourself above all is a great life lesson. It can be applied to all areas of life really! It almost seems as we get that part down then in comes the thing we’ve been waiting for, only now we are ready to handle it!
I think it serves us all to learn from our past relationships. Otherwise, we end up making the same mistakes over and over again. I know I’m much wiser now than I was even a few years ago.
Good for you Cindy. Then we make better choices. <3
I really find this post interesting. In love, there must be pain, suffering and mystery. What’s important is you learn some pretty good lessons.
I love that ariana grande song so much!! I still need to see this on netflix!!!
you are so fortunate to understand that loving your self first is such a pivotal part of life not everyone gets to truly experience. Time to be alone, the kind of alone that can make the difference when you find your self a few decades older and wishing you had spend the time to date yourself, and find passions you could only discover, alone. wish you the best! ?
We are so similar!!! I relationship hop! Now I’m learning that being alone is character building!
I think all relationships have an impact on who we are, weather we be good friends or romantic. You learn what you like, what you won’t tolerate and maybe expand your horizons more.
Every relationship is a learning experience, even non-romantic ones. It’s great that you are learning and growing with each one and not letting pain cause you to not love again.
Relationships are not bad thing even if they end because we learn so much about ourselves through the experience. Nice post!
I am truly impressed that you have learned from your past loves. In this world we have so many experiences, but the wise always learn from them. It looks like you are on your way and you have learned some great things!
Thank you for sharing your experiences. Every mistakes are new lessons for improving ourself. Thanks for sharing.
ganda ng blog mo na ito mommy . every relationship talaga ay nagbibigay ng lesson. every heartbreak may natutunan. at least moving forward, mahalin ang sarili bago mahalin ang iba 🙂
It’s hard to give something that we don’t have. 🙂