Nowadays, we overly emphasize the outward manifestations of love. Thanks to social media, couples get a lot of inspiration from Pinterest, reels, and other presentations of what could be done. We romanticize everything and even compete with who has the biggest, the most, or the most expensive. First are the ideals: the kind of dates, the size of the ring, how he’s going to propose, the announcements, save the date, and then the actual wedding. So much goes into the superficial things that we often neglect the one that married couples should focus on: the marriage itself. With much thought and a lot of readings, we came up with this theoretical “Do not get married if …” list.
What Do You Think of This? Do Not Get Married If …
Please do not take this list as a bible of who is supposed to get married or not. And please don’t hate us for this. Nobody is perfect and not one of us can completely say that there is no single problem in our marriage. However, let this list encourage you to think deeper and search for yourself before plunging into the sacred life-long commitment of marriage. Use this as a guide or reminder about the things you need to work on yourself.
That way, you will enter marriage with a much more confident stance.
The “Do Not Get Married If … ” List
- You are unwilling to put the needs of another person above your own.
- You are easily offended, carry grudges, and are unwilling to forgive.
- You are an abusive person (Mentally, emotionally, and physically).
- You are unwilling to commit.
- You have an unresolved addiction problem.
- Your career is the most important thing in your life.
- You do not share the same beliefs, values, life priorities, or vision.
- You are unwilling to be an active partner in intimacy with your spouse.
- You are unwilling to agree on an approach for handling finances, children, and major life decisions.
- You expect your spouse to change after you get married.
Read: Marry a man who is…
The Quest for a Successful and Happy Marriage
Remember, successful marriages are not about perfection. It is also not about staying together despite not being happy and fulfilled just so yours won’t be called a “broken marriage.”
Rather, marriage is about two people bound before God and men who are willing to grow closer to Christ and each other. Don’t be discouraged if you struggle with any of the above reasons in the list. But before you get married, do yourself and your future spouse a favor by first committing to grow stronger in each area.
- The original list is by Dr. Randy Carlson. He is a best-selling author, counselor, and radio personality whose chief advocacy is the family.
