Up until last night, more than a month after we let our helper go, my husband and I are still no seeing eye to eye about the issue. Not until this morning. He wants to hire a helper and I don’t. And I misunderstood his motives, too. But here, in a text message because he is traveling as part of a group from Victory Bacolod in order to bring relief to victims of Typhoon Yolanda, he summed up his reasons why he wants us to hire a helper:
1. So that you will not get so tired to the point of having a bad mood. If your bad moods will not go away, at least they are lessened.
2. We can do things that will be helpful to us as husband and wife. And also have strength to do things with the kids.
3. Yes, I also want comfort. Who doesn’t? Don’t you like to be comfortable as well? But to as to willing to make sacrifices, I am willing to do it if that is the better option. The way I see the situation now, I don’t think it is.
4. I do have a lot of things that I WANT and NEED to do but can’t because of your decision not to hire a helper. And it is mostly work-related. I have told you many times that I have so many things to do and more is expected of me.
And he also told me not to challenge his tolerance of giving up comforts for the sake of the children.
My husband knows me–inside and out. He knows when and why I get bad moods (especially if I lack sleep) and how I fail miserably in dealing with them. Most times, my tendency is to vent my frustrations on Dindin. She is not a naughty kid–she is just being a kid. And since I am in a bad mood, I have very little tolerance if she keeps bugging me.
Sigh…I understand my husband’s points. And honestly, I already told him to look for one. But he knows my predicament now and that how I am afraid to delegate tasks to the helper that we will just end up paying for naught. So he said he knows that at this point, it is useless to hire. But at least, we understood each other.
Thank God for open communication–though it took several arguments to finally understand each other.