Guide in Praying for a Spouse

When we reach a certain age or stage in our lives, we have that longing to find our better half and settle down in marriage. Among Christians, praying for a spouse is common, as it is encouraged in the church culture from since when you are young. Find out how my husband did it and learn some tips from him.

Praying for a Spouse Before You Meet a Potential Candidate

We have been married for a few months when I started cleaning my husband’s old drawer. There were some receipts, greeting cards, call cards, scratch paper, old photos, memory verse cards, and many more. I checked each one, as I sorted which ones to keep and which ones he can decide on throwing away.

Among the piles of paper, I found a piece of paper that was torn out from a spiral notebook and he had handwritten notes on it.

Upon closer inspection, it was actually his prayer list for what he would like in his future wife. I sat down and read each one and tears ran down my eyes. The realization dawned on me that I was actually reading a description of myself! As in up to the tiniest personality traits that are uniquely me, he actually asked for it? And God gave it to him!

My husband couldn’t actually remember when he had written his prayer list and he did not write down the date. All he knows is that he wrote it before he met me, probably those times when he was soul searching in the mountains of Mambukal Resort. But it was just so heartwarming to discover it that I have kept the original document.

Through the Years

I have kept my husband’s prayer list for the memories it brings and with the thought of writing about it. But it seemed that I couldn’t find the right time to do it until now. Or I guess it just wasn’t the right time. Since Valentine’s Day is coming and many who call themselves “loveless”  do feel lonely at this time, then this might be for you.

Prayer List for a Future Wife

Here are some of the things that my husband had prayed for in a wife. In the first part, he wrote in our dialect,

“If there’s someone like this that I can wait for, I would.”

• Dungol, labutaw kalog which roughly means funny, silly, kinda crazy.
• Not conservative (he probably means not prudish and narrow-minded)
• Daring (in terms of movements and adventures, as opposed to the dalagang Pilipina stereotype that was still worshipped during our time)
• Super affectionate and sweet, even if she appears strong to others
• Knows how to and loves to cook (for homecooked meals that he appreciates so much)
• Very faithful Christian
• Sexy (I cannot say that I was but hey, that’s in his list, okay?)
• Sociable, friendly, and smiles a lot (I’m may not be kagandahan but I do have some social skills.)
• If she’s not so much into writing, at least she knows how to write and would write love letters
• Creative
• Has leadership skills
• Knows herself and is proud of who she is
• Trusting but not gullible

What He Didn’t Get But Are in His List

Reality bites: hubby didn’t get everything in his list.

• Would dare to do adventurous stuff like hiking, camping, fishing, or roughing it out (I can but so far, we haven’t gone roughing it out and now I have back problems already. Pfft)
• In control and in touch with her emotions (I can be a drama queen.)
• Musically inclined (I can live without music. Sometimes, I don’t even notice whether there’s music or not.)
• Not easily scared of animals, or at least would eventually warm up to them. (I like animals from afar but I am not up for petting. And I hate bugs.)

Lessons We Can Learn About Praying for a Spouse

So from the prayer list that my husband has written, I gleaned a few lessons as to why God granted his requests. Of course, this is not a fool proof method, as we don’t know what God’s plans are for you. Just take this as a guide if you are preparing your prayer list or if you think your current request needs a bit of editing.

Write it down.

It is good to write down your prayer list so that you can read it, edit it, and also check it before you present it to God.

When the time comes that God has answered your prayer, you can look back and remember the time when you prayed hard for your spouse. It reaffirms your faith, too.

I really appreciate what hubby did here and I’m glad that I found out about. It actually feels pretty good to be the answer to someone’s prayer. At least, that’s how I feel.

Be specific.

My husband meant serious business when he presented his prayers requests to God. He even created sub-categories for the traits he was looking for. Hindi naman sya OC bale. Jowk. His list was divided into:

• Spirituality
• Personality
• Physicality
• Ability and skills
• Interests

Make it a request than a demand.

One thing that I noticed from my husband’s list, it’s written like a letter. Though it was a list of bullet points, just like him, his entries has explanations and his words were nice and kind. He was not demanding. It was also like a love letter to God, full of childlike faith.

Make a bargain.

This is not a perfect world people, so even if God is perfect, the person you are praying for is not. Hubby had words like, “I would like her to be like this…but if not, at least, she can…” He gave God “margin” to widen the search parameters.

Don’t be too greedy.

When we pray for something, we sometimes tend to be greedy. I know that I can be and I know that I am not alone. We tend to usually pray for the biggest, the brightest, the richest, the best, the most good-looking, the sexiest, the kindest, the most loving, and all the other superlatives.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but such people only exist in a fantasy world created by writers, like in the web novels that I sometimes binge read on. So try to be realistic, even in praying for a spouse.

Sleep over it.

Obviously, hubby didn’t write this in a single sitting, judging from the different colored inks he used. He must have thought hard and just continued to write his thoughts. Just like a business proposal, you kept updating and editing your prayer list until you are satisfied with it.

Be sincere.

My husband poured his heart out to God in this list. This isn’t something superficial. Reading his letter, I know that he bared his soul to God when he did this.

Prepare to be disappointed.

So what happened? God granted the longings of his heart. Hubby got everything that he wanted and more.

The more part proved to be a problem for us at first because we are both creative and passionate people with explosive tempers. We were and still are very much in love with each other, we are also fiercely loyal, but little differences can create a huge flame between us. People close to us during the early stages of our relationship have witnessed this ugly side of us.

Up until now, we continue to work on our relationship and our marriage. Yes, marriage requires work and assessment. Even if you end up getting married to the one you prayed for, it doesn’t mean that you won’t have to face problems at all. I also had to find inner healing for my past hurts and pains that kept haunting us.

There was a toxic point in our relationship that we even decided to cool it off. The process of compatibility took many years for both of us and that story about choosing not to let go is good for another blog post.

For now, let’s just focus on praying for a spouse and may He also grant you the desires of your heart. <3 Hope you are blessed by this story as it warmed my heart. 🙂

A Note From Hubby