My mother in law is a godly and wise woman. I am beyond blessed She has taught me a lot of things about life and marriage. As for marriage advice, I think these are the top three lessons she taught me.
Yes, I have lived with my parents for the first 32 years of my life before I got married to my husband. A lot of the things I know and value, I learned from my parents. But having lived with my in-laws for the last six years because of marriage, my mother-in-law has also shared some nuggets of wisdom about marriage. I keep all these to heart.
Lessons My Mother in Law Taught Me
In the early years of our married life, my mother-in-law has seen our ups and downs as a couple. She has seen my husband and I argue and make up. Additionally, she also knows when I leave the house just to get some fresh air (yeah, I tell her) when I feel too cooped up.
I trust her with my thoughts because I know she doesn’t gossip. And she definitely does not take sides between my husband and I. She’s a woman who believes in God and has very strong faith.
Okay yeah, this is some kind of a tribute post to Mama. At the same time, I want to share with you the three most important things she shared to me. I’m sure you can also glean a thing or two from the wisdom of her years.
1. When you have a fight with your husband, don’t skip meals.
The tendency of most women when they have an argument with their husbands is to lock themselves in the room. Then we starve. Most of the time, we just have no appetite because we are upset. But most it, I think, comes from the fact that we want our husbands to console us and take us outside.
Mama said that she eats even when upset and even if that means no talking on the dinner table. She has learned that no matter how hungry you are, nobody would ask you to eat. haha Your husband won’t come to you. It might be funny, but it’s true.
2. Never leave the home you share with your husband to go back to your parents.
I really agree with Mama on this. No matter how big a fight with my husband is, I may go out of the house but I would not go home to my parents. And I don’t tell on my husband.
It will just make matters worse when parents meddle in a fight between couples. And naturally, when we fight, we usually say the most awful things about our partners and our parents who are listening will believe every word that we say.
Even when we kiss and make up with our husbands, our parents’ perception of him based on what we said in our anger could not be erased anymore. And the worse thing they could do is to encourage you to leave your husband and come back home. So I would rather go out and clear my mind than pack my bags and go back to my parents.
3. Be humble.
Mama said that a lot of women who have jobs or businesses and who even earn more than their husbands have a tendency to be proud. That will ruin your relationship.
Women achievers who work should still remain humble and not make their husbands feel inferior because of their achievements. It will create dissension between the couple and it belittles the husband’s capacities and potential to perform better.
Marriage is a union and not a competition. Whatever achievements each partner has should be shared between the two of you. And both of you should also be proud of what the other one has accomplished.
These are three most important things that Mama has shared to me for a happy marriage. I hope that you have also learned something, whether you are newlyweds or have been hitched with the same person for many years. 😀
I truly appreciate Mama’s wisdom and my relationship with her. She is a gift from God.