In olden days, women who marry in their 20s are already part of those who get married late. The norm was that, the ripe age to tie the knot is between 15-17.
Nowadays, young women this age are called teenagers. They are in high school and they dream big. They have plans of finishing college and landing a career. Those who would rather be domesticated are considered an exception. And in these tough economic times, the female children are also expected to work and contribute to the family income. So they work hard and sometimes even try to go abroad so that they can provide for their families.
Because of these very different situations that we are in now, the median age to get married for women is getting pushed higher. I, for one, married rather late–at 32. It’s not that I don’t want to get married earlier, but circumstances just prevented me from doing so.
And I know that I am not the only one. Even if their reasons may be different than mine, but many more women are opting to marry late nowadays.
There are many advantages to marrying late. You may have done many things, have achieved many goals, have visited many places, eaten many exotic dishes, have helped your family, have sent your younger siblings to school, and many other things. You think you have accomplished a lot already and it is time to settle down. When you do settle down and devote your time to your kids, you don’t have a lot of regrets anymore because you have lived a full life before getting married.
But there is also a downside to this. You have lived many years alone, calling the shots, making your own money, going where you please. Then suddenly, you are presented with the concept of submission. This alone already makes many women go up in arms.
Marrying late could have a rather tough adjustment period, especially if the woman is strong-willed and would not compromise. Well, you can keep on doing that and have a tormented love affair, or give in, and have a blissful life together.
I speak from experience because I, too, went through this phase. But it has to be a decision that you have to make. Do you love your husband enough that you are willing to bend yourself to make the marriage work and be fruitful? Or would you rather live through your marriage resenting your better half every single day because of petty differences? It is your choice…your call.
I remember a friend of mine who was in her early 40s at that time. She was single and had a boyfriend. She has lived independently since high school, had her own pad, made her own money. And to make matters worse, she made more money than her boyfriend. She told me once that if ever they were getting married, they would have to move out of her apartment that she has called home for many years because that is her territory. It is HER place. When the guy moves in, it will be easy to throw him out if they have a fight–after all, she is paying the rent. So moving to a new place would be a fresh start for them. Now that is a woman who understands that a woman can be a pretty strong force in the marriage and she will be very brave to fight things out if it were her territory.
Submission and compromise are two very strong words that can affect your marriage. I am willing to bend, submit, and compromise to my husband as long as the issues are not against the laws of God. These two things are very hard to do, especially if you are a woman who has been so used to living your life the way you want it. But it is very doable if you think that your marriage, your husband, and your family are worth fighting for.