The Couples’ Game that Made Us Question Our Marriage

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Agreement: A Fun Couples’ Game

How a fun couple’s game during our family reunion led us to question our marriage and got us talking heart to heart.

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Hubby and I enjoyed the sunset at Cana Retreat in Amlan, Negros Oriental. Thanks to our niece and nephew for this spur of the moment photo shoot.

Family Reunion

My husband’s family on the father’s side went on a year-end holiday at Cana Retreat in Amlan, Negros Oriental for a family reunion. We took a very long road trip just to reach the other side of the island. Thankfully, hubby was able to attend the Ford Safe Driving Program here in Bacolod so he was ready on the road.

On New Year’s Eve, we had a party and while waiting for the stroke of midnight, we played games and exchanged gifts.

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Some couple’s time at Cana Retreat during our recent year-end family vacation.

 

One of the games played was for married couples. Our elders played the first round while our generation played the second round. It was just a fun question and answer game to check if our answers are agree. For each corresponding answer, the couples get a point.

The Questions

We were asked very simple questions based on our day to day married lives. Here are the first six:

  1. The Beginning: Who fell in love first?
  2. Professing: Who says “I love you” more often?
  3. Arguments: Who gets mad easily?
  4. Home: Who does more chores around the house?
  5. Life: Who laughs louder?
  6. Life: Who is the better driver?

The Question that Made Us Think

For the first six questions, hubby and I all got correct answers. For the seventh question, which was also the last, our young cousin Heinrick, asked, “Who makes the decisions for the kids and home?”

It was a rather complicated question, as every married couple knows that so many choices are made each day and decision-making is usually shared.

Major or General?

There is a joke where the husband says he is the general while the wife is the major of the home. Eventually, he reveals the reason for the rank is that he makes the general decisions while his wife makes the major decisions.

To make the question clearer, the elders of our group changed the question to, “Who makes the major decisions?”

Wrong Answer

So in this last and final question, my husband and I did not have the same answer. He thought I made the major decisions in our family while I thought that I always let him have the final decision on major matters.

While this was just a fun game and all of us laughed after that, hubby and I got to talking afterwards. I understand that he got confused with the change in the question. Honestly, I probably make most of the daily decisions—what to food to prepare, how to style the kids’ hair, what to let them wear, why grocery items to buy, among other things.

But for major decisions, like business, investments, big purchases, or the direction for our children’s education, my husband almost always has the final say. Or at least, we discuss the pros and cons on the matter and arrive at an informed decision. And heck, I even ask permission or at least inform my husband even I want to buy clothes out of respect for him–even if I use my own money.

Family Set Up | Submission

In this modern day and age, especially where wives are mostly educated, established in their careers or thriving in their businesses, and contributing to the family budget, the role of major decision making has become blurred. Feminism would tell us that submission is a thing of the past. And in some cases, it is the wife’s word that stands.

Meanwhile, as women have progressed in the society, there are men who to take the words in *Ephesians 5:22* to the extreme while neglecting **Ephesians 5:25-33, which is actually a longer paragraph about husbands loving their wives.

Stubborn Wife

I can be very an opinionated and a very stubborn wife, but I am still old-fashioned. Call me a prude but I believe that the husband is still the head of the home and God has a special anointing for him, especially in the area of decision making.

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Quiet time at the jacuzzi of Cana Retreat.

 

Well, I can argue with my husband lengthily, but in the end, it’s still his decision that matters more for me. So far, I don’t recall rebelling against him for a major decision that he has made for our family. I may disagree, but I follow.

No Demands

I am just glad that I have a kind and gentle husband who patiently tries to explain things to me while we are in the process of making a decision and doesn’t just put his foot down just because he says so.

He does not demand submission but he does appreciate it because according to his personality, he prefers interdependence. He also prefers in making decisions together as a couple. But it is my choice to submit to him. Not only in obedience to God’s word, but it has also helped in the many situations where no one will give in and we have reached a stalemate.

Who Makes Tough Decisions?

In your marriage, who makes the tough decisions?

It’s true that we all have different family arrangements. But are you having problems agreeing you’re your decision-making? If this occurs and it is straining your relationship already, go back to the Word of God. There are so many passages on marriage that we can learn from and guide us in our day to day lives. And yes, we can always ask God in prayer.

After the Couples’ Game

My husband did realize that I do let him make the major decisions for our family. We do argue a lot because I am also quite hard-headed and a wee bit emotional. But while I handle the general concerns, it is clear to us that hubby oversees our welfare as a whole. And I trust him to do that.

Hubby Says

Actually, the question was quite confusing for me. I still tend to test the waters when making decisions for the family. When there is something that needs to be decided, like purchases or sending the kids to preschool, I try to get my wife’s choice as well as her perspective.

But eventually, my realization was that, she does give me the final say. I just don’t impose if I believe that we can never agree on it. If ever, we try to find a compromise, especially if it’s a very big decision that will affect our family for the rest of our lives.

*********

*Ephesians 5:22 – “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.”

*Ephesians 25-33 – “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”


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Dennis and Sigrid are married Bacolod bloggers., hence the blog name, Marriage Markers. They love to eat and travel and they adore their little girls. They love each other to bits. <3 They are proud members of the Negrense Blogging Society Inc. (NBSI) or the #NegrenseBloggers #BacolodBloggers.

29 thoughts on “The Couples’ Game that Made Us Question Our Marriage

  1. I’ll be perfectly honest, I usually have the final say in decisions. I’m stubborn and proud of it. Happy wife, happy life you know 😉 Granted, my husband does have a say, but I think he knows I know what is best for our family since I’m around our family more often. I could never submit to anyone, but again, I am not religious. But I’m glad it works for others!

    1. I agree with you. Since I am around the children more often, I get to decide most of the things in our lives. But if it’s a major decision, we can argue but eventually, I will leave up to him. Thanks for you sharing your testimony. As long as you and your husband are happy, then it’s for the best of your marriage. 🙂

  2. This looks like a fun couples game. I’d love to share it with my married friends and those in relationships. I’m not married but I’d love to see what some of their answers are.

  3. This blog post is so interesting that I had it read to my parents. I’m not married, but they found it enlightening!

  4. how fun is this! i think it is a great way to reminisce and ignite some romance, especially if you have been married for a long time!

  5. I love this idea! Sharing our lives with another person means getting to know that person every day a little bit more. Sometimes it’s difficult to keep up with the daily routine of life. But it’s definitely important to keep in touch with what made us fell in love in the first place.

    XO
    Candace

  6. This is such a great idea 🙂
    I am going to share this post with a friend of mine – she just got married, and I think she will have great fun playing this game with her new husband!

  7. Oh I really enjoyed reading this, you two are so sweet and it was lovely to hear more about your love story! How lucky you both are to have found each other!

  8. It sounds like you have a real balance in your relationship.

    My husband works in management and has to make pretty huge decisions every day at work but once he gets home, it’s like he leaves that side of him behind!
    I call most the shots but always take into account what he says and how I think it will reflect his values.

    Bless his cotton socks, only an hour ago he couldn’t even choose a loaf of bread at Coles!

    1. hahahaha That’s cool Dani! But yeah, things like the color of his pants or the cut of his shirt, I have to decide for hubby as well. hahaha

  9. Wow! It looks interesting to try! I just laughing for the questions because I remember when we started out as a couple, I am the one who’s mad easily and laughed louder! Haha, this makes me crazy. Lol

  10. Having a couple’s game sounds like a very easy way to get the two of you realize some points in your marriage you had never thought of before. The questions are fun although deep indeed.

  11. Though the game sounded fun, and it reminded me of the movie, ‘Just go with it’ but the later read scared me. I don’t wanna get married and I guess I need to re-think about my relationship.

  12. I think this game for couples a great way to lead to some very important questions in a relationship! We tend to strive for an equal partnership because it’s what works best for us.

  13. Yeah I can see why that kind of a question would cause strain. For my ex and I, it would probably be where she would say that she gave me final word, but I never really had it. It was like having the final word, only if it agreed with hers . . . which means it was never final. It is hard to negotiate responsibility in the home for ultimate decision making.

    1. Wow. These games might just be for fun, but they can also stimulate something. Hopefully it’s for the better and not create chaos.

  14. I think anything like this could certainly be useful in encouraging discussion among couples, just as you and your hubby experienced. Then again, the outcome depends on whether or not a couple has an established respectful relationship and a solid communication base. In our marriage, we typically discuss most decisions that will affect us one way or another, especially when they involve finances or plans for events with family members or friends.

    1. Sounds like you have a great relationship with your husband. Kudos to you! Keep the love and commitment going. 😀

  15. This is really interesting and fun game for couples. I would like to try this with my hubby. Those questions are crazy and cute.

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