Three Things My Mother in Law Taught Me

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If there is one thing that I have been blessed well, it’s having godly parents-in-law. God made sure of that. My mother-in-law is a godly and wise woman and I am beyond blessed. She has taught me a lot of things about life and marriage. As for marriage advice, I think these are the top three lessons she taught me.

lessons my mother in law taught me - marriage advice - Bacolod blogger - love and relationships - counsel of elders - relationship with in laws - listen to wise counsel - Bacolod mommy blogger - Chinese family
Mama’s 70th birthday celebration at Vikings Luxury Buffet.

Yes, I lived with my parents for the first 32 years of my life before I got married to my husband. A lot of the things I know and value, I learned from my parents. But having lived with my in-laws for the last six years because of marriage, my mother-in-law has also shared some nuggets of wisdom about marriage. I keep all these to heart.

People may wonder how my life is living with in-laws, plus they have a different culture from mine, but I could safely say, it had surprisingly been blissful. Anyway, sharing with you the top 3 things that Mama has taught me.

Lessons My Mother-in-Law Taught Me

In the early years of our married life, my mother-in-law has seen our ups and downs as a couple. She has seen my husband and I argue and makeup. Additionally, she also knows when I leave the house just to get some fresh air (yeah, I tell her) when I feel too cooped up.

I trust her with my thoughts because I know she doesn’t gossip. And she does not take sides between my husband and me. She’s a woman who believes in God and has very strong faith.

Okay yeah, this is some kind of a tribute post to Mama. At the same time, I want to share with you the three most important things she shared with me. I’m sure you can also glean a thing or two from the wisdom of her years.

1. When you fight with your husband, don’t skip meals.

The tendency of most women when they argue with their husbands is to lock themselves in the room. Then we starve. Most of the time, we just have no appetite because we are upset. But most it, I think, comes from the fact that we want our husbands to console us and take us outside.

Mama said that she eats even when upset even if that means no talking on the dinner table. She has learned that no matter how hungry you are, nobody will ask you to eat. haha Your husband won’t come to you. It might be funny, but it’s true.

2. Never leave the home you share with your husband to go back to your parents.

I agree with Mama on this. No matter how big a fight with my husband is, I may go out of the house but I would not go home to my parents. And I don’t tell on my husband.

It will just make matters worse when parents meddle in a fight between couples. And naturally, when we fight, we usually say the most awful things about our partners and our parents who are listening will believe every word that we say.

Papa and Mama with all their grandchildren.

Even when we kiss and make up with our husbands, our parents’ perception of him based on what we said in our anger could not be erased anymore. And the worse thing they could do is to encourage you to leave your husband and come back home. So I would rather go out and clear my mind than pack my bags and go back to my parents.

3. Be humble.

Mama said that a lot of women who have jobs or businesses and who even earn more than their husbands have a tendency to be proud. That will ruin your relationship.

Our family with Papa, Mama, and my sister-in-law during one of our dinners at Seda Capitol Central.

Women achievers who work should remain humble and not make their husbands feel inferior because of their achievements. It will create dissension between the couple and it belittles the husband’s capacities and potential to perform better.

Marriage is a union and not a competition. Whatever achievements each partner has should be shared between the two of you. And both of you should also be proud of what the other one has accomplished.


These are the three most important things that Mama has shared with me for a happy marriage. I hope that you have also learned something, whether you are newlyweds or have been hitched to the same person for many years. πŸ˜€

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Mama with our daughters and our little niece Darah.

I truly appreciate Mama’s wisdom and my relationship with her. She is a gift from God.

66 thoughts on “Three Things My Mother in Law Taught Me

    1. This is a must read❀️it’s all about your husband/ wife family before you,I am learning a lot from this article ❀️❀️❀️

  1. I agree to this i see you have a good and harmonious relationship to your mother-in-law. Keep it up.

  2. wow, this is a beautiful post, sis.. your MIL is a woman of wisdom. You are blessed to have a godly woman like her in your life and family.

  3. yung number 1 ginagawa ko yun dati nung first months nmin ng hubby ko πŸ™‚ but my mother-in-law also told me not to starve myself whenever im angry with my husband. your so lucky having a mom-in-law that mabait. sometimes kxe or maybe most of the time nagkakaron ng conflicts between byenan at manugang.

  4. yung number 1 ginagawa ko yun dati nung first months nmin ng hubby ko πŸ™‚ but my mother-in-law also told me not to starve myself whenever im angry with my husband. your so lucky having a mom-in-law that mabait. sometimes kxe or maybe most of the time nagkakaron ng conflicts between byenan at manugang.

  5. I so love this blogpost of yours, i learned a lot especially i am hitched with the same person for a year and months. i learned about the important things within a couple.

  6. I learned a lot about the important things to remind in a couple relationship. I am hitched with the same person a year and months, not married.

  7. Thanks for sharing w/ us these important things. Good for you, you have kind and understanding mother in law…

  8. I couldn’t agree more, never skip meals even when you’re mad, I try to starve myself too whenever we fight and not a really good idea hehe

  9. i have good relationship to my mother in-law, less stress less worries and sometimes nanny of my children.. thank you for being apart of me.

  10. absolutely she’s right!!! but honestly, sometimes i do skip meals when we have big dispute..i just don’t have appetite to take the food in but just a glass of milk.

  11. Nice post sis, though I don’t have mother in law since I’m single parent of my 3 yrs old son. Nakakatuwang basahin na magkasundo kayo ng mother in law mo. God bless your family!

  12. Pero sometimes kapag nagpakumbaba lagi at inako ang kasalanan sumusobra na.Nakakawalang gana kapag nag aaway ehehe

  13. your mother in law is so nice,wish i do have the same,hahaha, what she taught you is very useful πŸ™‚

  14. Yes your MIL is great mommy and i also get some tips from her,because i didnt experience living with my in laws,we only visiting and bonding2.. we rent a room after we marriage..

  15. Masaya ang buhay mag asawa Kung magkakasundo kayo ng mother in law mo…sabi kc nila ang mga biyanan daw kadalasan ang ANAY ng tahanan..

  16. I would definitely say you’re a Lucky Mom! Unfortunately kasi were not really OK ng Mother in Law ko, we always have differences. Specially sa mga gusto ko and gusto niya para sa son ko, Were not arguing pero deep inside meron kaming problem. Hope I had the same mother in- law like yours :((

    1. Awwww By the way, you can pray about your situation about your mother in law sis. I know it’s hard. I have seen it with my mom and my lola. You live in the same house?

  17. Your mother in law’s advices are so helpful! 1,2,3 are so true. Yes, we should not skip meal when we had a fight with our hubby. Empty stomach will cause you to get mad and more irritated. Problems should be settled at the right time when both of you are ready to talk about it. πŸ™‚ Most of all, humility is the best way to keep marriage stronger. PRIDE DESTORYS IT and sabi nga “NASA HULI ANG PAGSISISI”. πŸ™‚

  18. Masuwerte ka sa mother-in-law mo, hindi lahat close sa mother in law nila kahit na they are living in one house. Usefu yung tips. Agree ako sa number 2. Thanks

  19. One of the things na laging pinapaalala sa akin ng mother in law ko, is dapat hindi hayaang lubugan ng araw ang problema between husband and wife. Don’t let overnight pass bago kayo magkaayos. πŸ™‚ I find it really helpful all throughout.

  20. This what happened to us a month ago. But in our case i think i made the right decision of telling it to my mom. because she helped us patch things up. Its almost giving up na kasi. i decided na makipaghiwalay na sa kanya because hindi naman nya ginagawa ang obligasyon nya bilang asawa emotionally and most financially. But thanks to my mom who made the first step to make things better.

    1. You are blessed with an understanding mom. πŸ˜€ Whichever works talaga no? Take care and God bless. May the Lord mend your marriage. May you both be on the path to healing and restoration and may your family’s needs be met.

  21. Its nice to know, your super close to your MIL, wala po kc akong nakapisan na inlaws pero OK naman po kame… nakakainggit lang na may naituro sya sa inyo.

  22. Congratulations for having a loving mother-in-law. You know, they’re very rare. LOL! Seriously, you are very lucky for having her. About #1, she’s right about this. The logic about this is that, if you’re hungry, hindi ka makakapag-isip ng maayos. And if you can’t think clearly, baka lalong lumala ang away ng mag-asawa. About #2, hindi ko pa rin nagawang mag-alsa balutan. It would do more harm than good eh. It will only worsen the situation. And the last one is really important. Ego kasi can break even the strongest relationship. Nice post.

  23. I enjoyed reading this article very nice ang dmi ko natutunan dahil matagal ng wala ang mother in law ko.. thanks! keep it up

  24. The three things that my mother-in-law taught me are (1st)to forgive my husbands mistakes giving him a chance for once or twice. (2nd) To take care my kids even if me and my husband has a misunderstanding. (3rd) Not to emote or something, my kids needs me more than my husband needs me… πŸ™‚

  25. Cool naman nyan, sakin kasi we don’t live with them (far from them) usually guide ko is internet. Hehehe. Anyways, marami na kasi silang experience eh, better yet follow them.

  26. May natutunan ako sa post na ito, magandang payo ang nakuha mo sa iyong byenan. Agree ako sa tatlong nabanggit mo — EAT, stay w/ ur husband, be humble.

  27. I seldom see my in laws but when they come and visit us on such occasions like birthdays, we could talk somehow and perhaps learn a few things that are related to the current situation of the country.

  28. Praise God you’re surrounded with a family of believers! When God is the center of any relationship, talagang nagiging maayos ang ano mang problema. Your MIL is just so sweet. Masaya din po ako dahil magkasundo kami ng MIL ko. THANK GOD!
    Dati lagi ko rin ginagawa ang number 1 kaso nung dumating na baby namin, di ko na kaya eh hihihihi kaya kapag may LQ kami ni hubby, kakain ako ng favorite food ko instead of starving myself hihihi

  29. We are blessed to have mother-in-law that are very helpful and that loves us so much. Mine always gives me advise on how to deal with my husband. She gives me tips on how I can manage his son hehe and the best thing that I won’t forget is that she is always my “kasangga/kakampi” whenever me & his son argues or has an issue.

  30. Thanks a lot for this post! Mother’s knows best! If we really pay attention to our Moms dami talaga tayong matutunan sa kanila. I salute them for always there for us.^^

  31. Most of the time when me and hubby fight hes the one who dont really eat and go out of the house to see friends since im the mom i need to stay home even i do want to see friends to breath some air i cant i guess its easier for me to stay home and sleep and stay busy with kids than to go out and pack things and carry with me my 2 kids. but being humble between me and my hubby i guess im the one who is always humble so just to avoid more fights since his ego is too high.

  32. So lucky you are with your mom-in-law. Thanks sa post! I’ll try the #1 πŸ˜€ kasi when we have a fight I skip meals, pero in my case naman my hubby still invite me to eat kahit nag-aaway kami haha but I still insist to skip.

  33. lucky u are u have mom-in-law na mabait. .very nice advice po sana magawa ko yan pag galit ako hehe=) ung skipping meal I don’t know na mgawa kong kumain na galit minsan kc pag nag away kmi w8 q sya m2log para d nia alam na kumain aq hehe para nxt morning suyuin nia q hehe =) kpag magkagalit nman tlgang importante ng space pra mkpag icp icp =)

  34. Wow, great to know na close kayo ng iyong mother in law, kainggit naman dahil hindi lahat ganyan. My friends and my sister ay medyo hirap makuha ang templa ng kanilang mother in law.

  35. Good tips! you’re so lucky to have a kind-hearted mother-in-law and it’s nice to know that you jive well with her. πŸ™‚

  36. this is indeed a very helpful advise. i will share this soon to my son’s future wife. hehe

  37. while i am reading your blog post regarding the three important things that your mother in-law taught to you,you are so lucky that you have a mother in-law that teach many things, and she is not one sided in-law..

  38. So sweet your mother-in-law. I haven’t experienced having such because my husband’s parents died so early. But, it’s my mommy who taught me everything and advises on anything.

  39. Thanks for sharing the this useful advice from your mom-in-law! ME and my husband just started our married life and I will keep that in mind.:-) His mom is very supportive too just like you MIL! πŸ™‚ I hope that we can cope with the ups- and downs of a married couple! πŸ™‚ You’re blessed for having her in your life, regards to your mom-in-law! πŸ™‚

  40. I so agree with what your mother in law said. I have not been into marriage yet but I have seen married cousins and friends split up because they fail to follow the rules in marriage. I hope all those couples in the world who are experiencing their hardship could read your blog to help them out on the steps to do and not to break promised vowed commitment just because they are angry inside.

  41. You are indeed lucky to have a mother-in law like her. Having a mother like her is such an inspiration! Learning lots of difficult things with the help of a mother will lessen the burden of family life. Happiness with mother in law like her is a blessing!

  42. I do not have a MOTHER-in-Law just yet but I had a good relationship with my ex-bf’s mom. I agree with the 3 things that your MIL taught you, wala talagang magtatanong sayo to eat kasi nga you are on a non-speaking mode pag nag-aaway haha πŸ˜€ tsaka yung sa pag nag-aaway kayo, na hinding2 talaga uuwi at magsusumbong dahil it will really make things worse.

  43. This what my mom tells me always. To eat regular even where not in speaking terms, otherwise i lose. lol. seriously, because am a breastfeeding mom, so i have to make sure to eat.

  44. Indeed you are blessed with mother in law like her. Really a big help for your family. I love looking their photo, so adorable!

  45. Thanks for the tips! will try to do these para ‘di na kami mag-away ni hubby!. heheh.. Cheers to a very kind mother-in-law! πŸ˜‰

  46. Thanks to your MIL because I really learned a LOT. Yes, A LOT.

    I always thought MILs are evil and they will only no good to your relationship but your MIL rocks. Hihi! I always dream of having one. πŸ˜›

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