Three Things My Mother in Law Taught Me

lessons my mother in law taught me - marriage advice - Bacolod blogger - love and relationships - counsel of elders - relationship with in laws - listen to wise counsel
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My mother in law is a godly and wise woman. I am beyond blessed She has taught me a lot of things about life and marriage. As for marriage advice, I think these are the top three lessons she taught me.

lessons my mother in law taught me - marriage advice - Bacolod blogger - love and relationships - counsel of elders - relationship with in laws - listen to wise counsel - Bacolod mommy blogger - Chinese family
Mama’s 70th birthday celebration at Vikings Luxury Buffet.

Yes, I have lived with my parents for the first 32 years of my life before I got married to my husband. A lot of the things I know and value, I learned from my parents. But having lived with my in-laws for the last six years because of marriage, my mother-in-law has also shared some nuggets of wisdom about marriage. I keep all these to heart.

Lessons My Mother in Law Taught Me

In the early years of our married life, my mother-in-law has seen our ups and downs as a couple. She has seen my husband and I argue and make up. Additionally, she also knows when I leave the house just to get some fresh air (yeah, I tell her) when I feel too cooped up.

I trust her with my thoughts because I know she doesn’t gossip. And she definitely does not take sides between my husband and I. She’s a woman who believes in God and has very strong faith.

Okay yeah, this is some kind of a tribute post to Mama. At the same time, I want to share with you the three most important things she shared to me. I’m sure you can also glean a thing or two from the wisdom of her years.

1. When you have a fight with your husband, don’t skip meals.

The tendency of most women when they have an argument with their husbands is to lock themselves in the room. Then we starve. Most of the time, we just have no appetite because we are upset. But most it, I think, comes from the fact that we want our husbands to console us and take us outside.

Mama said that she eats even when upset and even if that means no talking on the dinner table. She has learned that no matter how hungry you are, nobody would ask you to eat. haha Your husband won’t come to you. It might be funny, but it’s true.

2. Never leave the home you share with your husband to go back to your parents.

I really agree with Mama on this. No matter how big a fight with my husband is, I may go out of the house but I would not go home to my parents. And I don’t tell on my husband.

It will just make matters worse when parents meddle in a fight between couples. And naturally, when we fight, we usually say the most awful things about our partners and our parents who are listening will believe every word that we say.

Papa and Mama with all their grandchildren.

Even when we kiss and make up with our husbands, our parents’ perception of him based on what we said in our anger could not be erased anymore. And the worse thing they could do is to encourage you to leave your husband and come back home. So I would rather go out and clear my mind than pack my bags and go back to my parents.

3. Be humble.

Mama said that a lot of women who have jobs or businesses and who even earn more than their husbands have a tendency to be proud. That will ruin your relationship.

Our family with Papa, Mama, and my sister in law during one of our dinners at Seda Capitol Central.

Women achievers who work should still remain humble and not make their husbands feel inferior because of their achievements. It will create dissension between the couple and it belittles the husband’s capacities and potential to perform better.

Marriage is a union and not a competition. Whatever achievements each partner has should be shared between the two of you. And both of you should also be proud of what the other one has accomplished.

Learnings

These are three most important things that Mama has shared to me for a happy marriage. I hope that you have also learned something, whether you are newlyweds or have been hitched with the same person for many years. ๐Ÿ˜€

lessons my mother in law taught me - marriage advice - Bacolod blogger - love and relationships - counsel of elders - relationship with in laws - listen to wise counsel - Bacolod mommy blogger - Chinese family - birthday - Kenny Rogers - daughters and grandchildren
Mama with our daughters and our little niece Darah.

I truly appreciate Mama’s wisdom and my relationship with her. She is a gift from God.


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65 thoughts on “Three Things My Mother in Law Taught Me”

  1. Lovely Joy Merced says:

    Yay i love this post! Your mom in law tips are very useful for keeping marriage lasts.

  2. Rachel Anne Del Rosario says:

    I agree to this i see you have a good and harmonious relationship to your mother-in-law. Keep it up.

  3. Raya says:

    wow, this is a beautiful post, sis.. your MIL is a woman of wisdom. You are blessed to have a godly woman like her in your life and family.

    1. admin says:

      Thank you sis. Yeah, I am blessed with my in-laws. ๐Ÿ˜€ Thank God!

  4. arra odeza says:

    yung number 1 ginagawa ko yun dati nung first months nmin ng hubby ko ๐Ÿ™‚ but my mother-in-law also told me not to starve myself whenever im angry with my husband. your so lucky having a mom-in-law that mabait. sometimes kxe or maybe most of the time nagkakaron ng conflicts between byenan at manugang.

  5. arra odeza says:

    yung number 1 ginagawa ko yun dati nung first months nmin ng hubby ko ๐Ÿ™‚ but my mother-in-law also told me not to starve myself whenever im angry with my husband. your so lucky having a mom-in-law that mabait. sometimes kxe or maybe most of the time nagkakaron ng conflicts between byenan at manugang.

  6. Vanessa Rose Palacio says:

    I so love this blogpost of yours, i learned a lot especially i am hitched with the same person for a year and months. i learned about the important things within a couple.

  7. Vanessa Rose Palacio says:

    I learned a lot about the important things to remind in a couple relationship. I am hitched with the same person a year and months, not married.

  8. maricris abarabar says:

    Thanks for sharing w/ us these important things. Good for you, you have kind and understanding mother in law…

  9. arjayssa reyes says:

    Nice info! yep! Mother- in-laws can share a lot of good advice to us. ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. Pearl Paguio says:

    I couldn’t agree more, never skip meals even when you’re mad, I try to starve myself too whenever we fight and not a really good idea hehe

  11. roschell malit says:

    i have good relationship to my mother in-law, less stress less worries and sometimes nanny of my children.. thank you for being apart of me.

  12. Flor Ann Basa Guarino says:

    Thank you for sharing this tips to us. I love it!

  13. debbie jane de dios says:

    absolutely she’s right!!! but honestly, sometimes i do skip meals when we have big dispute..i just don’t have appetite to take the food in but just a glass of milk.

  14. Mimi Ramos says:

    Nice post sis, though I don’t have mother in law since I’m single parent of my 3 yrs old son. Nakakatuwang basahin na magkasundo kayo ng mother in law mo. God bless your family!

  15. Pero sometimes kapag nagpakumbaba lagi at inako ang kasalanan sumusobra na.Nakakawalang gana kapag nag aaway ehehe

  16. sherry ann gole cruz says:

    your mother in law is so nice,wish i do have the same,hahaha, what she taught you is very useful ๐Ÿ™‚

  17. your mother in law is very nice

  18. Yes your MIL is great mommy and i also get some tips from her,because i didnt experience living with my in laws,we only visiting and bonding2.. we rent a room after we marriage..

  19. Lynlyn Pacatang says:

    Masaya ang buhay mag asawa Kung magkakasundo kayo ng mother in law mo…sabi kc nila ang mga biyanan daw kadalasan ang ANAY ng tahanan..

  20. Cristina Fortu says:

    I agree! love this post! <3

  21. jaycellmae almendra says:

    u’re so lucky na meron kang mother in law na tulad nya..:) sana maging ganyan din in law ko…haha

  22. Mareva Baringian says:

    love this post. mother in law’s tips are good to keep your marriage last and have a happy family.

  23. Krisyhelle Garcia says:

    I would definitely say you’re a Lucky Mom! Unfortunately kasi were not really OK ng Mother in Law ko, we always have differences. Specially sa mga gusto ko and gusto niya para sa son ko, Were not arguing pero deep inside meron kaming problem. Hope I had the same mother in- law like yours :((

    1. admin says:

      Awwww By the way, you can pray about your situation about your mother in law sis. I know it’s hard. I have seen it with my mom and my lola. You live in the same house?

  24. Mary Gerlyn C. Kalacas says:

    Your mother in law’s advices are so helpful! 1,2,3 are so true. Yes, we should not skip meal when we had a fight with our hubby. Empty stomach will cause you to get mad and more irritated. Problems should be settled at the right time when both of you are ready to talk about it. ๐Ÿ™‚ Most of all, humility is the best way to keep marriage stronger. PRIDE DESTORYS IT and sabi nga “NASA HULI ANG PAGSISISI”. ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. admin says:

      Ditto about the pride! ๐Ÿ˜€

  25. oussel says:

    Masuwerte ka sa mother-in-law mo, hindi lahat close sa mother in law nila kahit na they are living in one house. Usefu yung tips. Agree ako sa number 2. Thanks

    1. admin says:

      awwww that’s why thankful ako sis. kahit bi-racial ang bahay hehe

  26. Sheena Malate says:

    One of the things na laging pinapaalala sa akin ng mother in law ko, is dapat hindi hayaang lubugan ng araw ang problema between husband and wife. Don’t let overnight pass bago kayo magkaayos. ๐Ÿ™‚ I find it really helpful all throughout.

    1. admin says:

      Very nice! Yeah, that’s true. ๐Ÿ˜€

  27. Ralyn Serra says:

    This what happened to us a month ago. But in our case i think i made the right decision of telling it to my mom. because she helped us patch things up. Its almost giving up na kasi. i decided na makipaghiwalay na sa kanya because hindi naman nya ginagawa ang obligasyon nya bilang asawa emotionally and most financially. But thanks to my mom who made the first step to make things better.

    1. admin says:

      You are blessed with an understanding mom. ๐Ÿ˜€ Whichever works talaga no? Take care and God bless. May the Lord mend your marriage. May you both be on the path to healing and restoration and may your family’s needs be met.

  28. Liza Marie Valenzuela says:

    Super like this post. I also have a good bonding with my mother in law. no problem at all.

  29. Mary Ann Cueto says:

    Its nice to know, your super close to your MIL, wala po kc akong nakapisan na inlaws pero OK naman po kame… nakakainggit lang na may naituro sya sa inyo.

  30. Marinela Diaz says:

    Congratulations for having a loving mother-in-law. You know, they’re very rare. LOL! Seriously, you are very lucky for having her. About #1, she’s right about this. The logic about this is that, if you’re hungry, hindi ka makakapag-isip ng maayos. And if you can’t think clearly, baka lalong lumala ang away ng mag-asawa. About #2, hindi ko pa rin nagawang mag-alsa balutan. It would do more harm than good eh. It will only worsen the situation. And the last one is really important. Ego kasi can break even the strongest relationship. Nice post.

  31. RUBY PAPIO says:

    I enjoyed reading this article very nice ang dmi ko natutunan dahil matagal ng wala ang mother in law ko.. thanks! keep it up

  32. Mary Joy says:

    The three things that my mother-in-law taught me are (1st)to forgive my husbands mistakes giving him a chance for once or twice. (2nd) To take care my kids even if me and my husband has a misunderstanding. (3rd) Not to emote or something, my kids needs me more than my husband needs me… ๐Ÿ™‚

  33. Ellen May M. says:

    Cool naman nyan, sakin kasi we don’t live with them (far from them) usually guide ko is internet. Hehehe. Anyways, marami na kasi silang experience eh, better yet follow them.

  34. Jeanne Ugay says:

    May natutunan ako sa post na ito, magandang payo ang nakuha mo sa iyong byenan. Agree ako sa tatlong nabanggit mo — EAT, stay w/ ur husband, be humble.

  35. I seldom see my in laws but when they come and visit us on such occasions like birthdays, we could talk somehow and perhaps learn a few things that are related to the current situation of the country.

  36. Timbel Mae D. Pepito says:

    Praise God you’re surrounded with a family of believers! When God is the center of any relationship, talagang nagiging maayos ang ano mang problema. Your MIL is just so sweet. Masaya din po ako dahil magkasundo kami ng MIL ko. THANK GOD!
    Dati lagi ko rin ginagawa ang number 1 kaso nung dumating na baby namin, di ko na kaya eh hihihihi kaya kapag may LQ kami ni hubby, kakain ako ng favorite food ko instead of starving myself hihihi

    1. admin says:

      You are so right sis. Our faith encompassed cultural barriers. ๐Ÿ˜€

  37. mary anne ramirez says:

    We are blessed to have mother-in-law that are very helpful and that loves us so much. Mine always gives me advise on how to deal with my husband. She gives me tips on how I can manage his son hehe and the best thing that I won’t forget is that she is always my “kasangga/kakampi” whenever me & his son argues or has an issue.

    1. admin says:

      haha Nice! Mama is sort of like that too ๐Ÿ˜€ Sometimes hubby thinks that Mama and Papa love me more than him. LOL

  38. JL Bac'z says:

    Thanks a lot for this post! Mother’s knows best! If we really pay attention to our Moms dami talaga tayong matutunan sa kanila. I salute them for always there for us.^^

  39. Lorna Puno says:

    Most of the time when me and hubby fight hes the one who dont really eat and go out of the house to see friends since im the mom i need to stay home even i do want to see friends to breath some air i cant i guess its easier for me to stay home and sleep and stay busy with kids than to go out and pack things and carry with me my 2 kids. but being humble between me and my hubby i guess im the one who is always humble so just to avoid more fights since his ego is too high.

  40. Leizle Demaisip says:

    So lucky you are with your mom-in-law. Thanks sa post! I’ll try the #1 ๐Ÿ˜€ kasi when we have a fight I skip meals, pero in my case naman my hubby still invite me to eat kahit nag-aaway kami haha but I still insist to skip.

  41. vernie feliciano says:

    lucky u are u have mom-in-law na mabait. .very nice advice po sana magawa ko yan pag galit ako hehe=) ung skipping meal I don’t know na mgawa kong kumain na galit minsan kc pag nag away kmi w8 q sya m2log para d nia alam na kumain aq hehe para nxt morning suyuin nia q hehe =) kpag magkagalit nman tlgang importante ng space pra mkpag icp icp =)

  42. carla says:

    Wow, great to know na close kayo ng iyong mother in law, kainggit naman dahil hindi lahat ganyan. My friends and my sister ay medyo hirap makuha ang templa ng kanilang mother in law.

  43. Elinor Semira says:

    Good tips! you’re so lucky to have a kind-hearted mother-in-law and it’s nice to know that you jive well with her. ๐Ÿ™‚

  44. Michelle Talaboc (@chelxlife) says:

    this is indeed a very helpful advise. i will share this soon to my son’s future wife. hehe

    1. admin says:

      hahaha cool! wishing you a loving relationship with them ๐Ÿ˜€

  45. Leny Martinez says:

    while i am reading your blog post regarding the three important things that your mother in-law taught to you,you are so lucky that you have a mother in-law that teach many things, and she is not one sided in-law..

  46. Belinda Ibanez says:

    So sweet your mother-in-law. I haven’t experienced having such because my husband’s parents died so early. But, it’s my mommy who taught me everything and advises on anything.

  47. Mary Louise Sanchez says:

    Thanks for sharing the this useful advice from your mom-in-law! ME and my husband just started our married life and I will keep that in mind.:-) His mom is very supportive too just like you MIL! ๐Ÿ™‚ I hope that we can cope with the ups- and downs of a married couple! ๐Ÿ™‚ You’re blessed for having her in your life, regards to your mom-in-law! ๐Ÿ™‚

  48. Mertevchel Teves Caรฑete says:

    I so agree with what your mother in law said. I have not been into marriage yet but I have seen married cousins and friends split up because they fail to follow the rules in marriage. I hope all those couples in the world who are experiencing their hardship could read your blog to help them out on the steps to do and not to break promised vowed commitment just because they are angry inside.

    1. admin says:

      Thanks sis! Please share if you think others may be blessed, too ๐Ÿ˜€

  49. Aliz G.M. says:

    You are indeed lucky to have a mother-in law like her. Having a mother like her is such an inspiration! Learning lots of difficult things with the help of a mother will lessen the burden of family life. Happiness with mother in law like her is a blessing!

  50. zoan says:

    I do not have a MOTHER-in-Law just yet but I had a good relationship with my ex-bf’s mom. I agree with the 3 things that your MIL taught you, wala talagang magtatanong sayo to eat kasi nga you are on a non-speaking mode pag nag-aaway haha ๐Ÿ˜€ tsaka yung sa pag nag-aaway kayo, na hinding2 talaga uuwi at magsusumbong dahil it will really make things worse.

  51. Ralyn Serra says:

    This what my mom tells me always. To eat regular even where not in speaking terms, otherwise i lose. lol. seriously, because am a breastfeeding mom, so i have to make sure to eat.

  52. Aliz G.M. says:

    Indeed you are blessed with mother in law like her. Really a big help for your family. I love looking their photo, so adorable!

  53. Emilie P. Udasco says:

    Thanks for the tips! will try to do these para ‘di na kami mag-away ni hubby!. heheh.. Cheers to a very kind mother-in-law! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  54. Pinay Mama says:

    Thanks to your MIL because I really learned a LOT. Yes, A LOT.

    I always thought MILs are evil and they will only no good to your relationship but your MIL rocks. Hihi! I always dream of having one. ๐Ÿ˜›

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